Saturday, August 23, 2008

Need to vent

I faced something today that I am upset about. Ashtyn had a soccer game very early in the day (8:00 am, 1 hour away). The game was good, but we got beat 2-1. During the game I see one of her team mates turn around and yelled at her to "shut up" right on the sideline in front of me and all the parents. Ashtyn sees the whole field and knows what is going on around her. Ashtyn gets frustrated with her, but usually only vents to me and Nathan. This child has been talking about Ashtyn when she has come off the field and we have told Ashtyn to ignore her or to ask her if something is wrong and would she like to talk about it. I am trying to give Ashtyn the words she needs to help her solve problems.

Today, Ashtyn had had her fill and told the child to "hustle up" and Ashtyn admitted that her tone wasn't nice, but she was frustrated. I had Ashtyn apologize to the child for the way she told her to "hustle up" and the child was not nice about it. I am now questioning if I did the right thing, but I think I did. I spoke with Ashtyn about what she said and how she said it. I told her that I too am bad about how my tone comes across (ask Nathan LOL), but she was still wrong and that is why I had her apologize. I told her she needed to be the bigger person. She said she was frustrated and I told her that it is alright for us to be angry or frustrated, but what we do with the frustration and anger decides whether or not it is a sin.

The child's mother can not stand me due to a disagreement 2 years ago. I have apologized, been nice, tried to move on, but she holds this horrible grudge. I feel bad for her that she has to live with all this anger and she won't let it go. I can't imagine what she must feel like to have her heart so harden towards me. I know how I feel just knowing that she doesn't like me. I have done all I know to do. I just keep praying for her that she will learn to forgive me. I think this is why I jumped so quickly when I realized what was going on between the girls. I don't want Ashtyn put in the same situation as I am with her mom.

I want to make sure Ashtyn always does the right thing and I hope through these situations that they become teachable moments. After talking with Ashtyn and hopefully her understanding the lesson in this, we decided she should just leave the child alone and not saying anything to her that might cause an issue.

No comments: